I received an email last night with a follow up this morning. I’m going to share this with you all. The thing is, I wrote a book to connect to others in EMS, but the connections beyond the job have been both moving and surprising. Here is what my reader wrote:
“Wanted to tell you that I got your book from Amazon and read the whole thing sitting down by the Bay this afternoon. It is well written and easy to read! It gives great insight to what EMT and Paramedic work really entails.
We’re always glad when you arrive to help but don’t fully appreciate all that you’re doing to keep our loved ones alive to get to the hospital for more extensive treatment, and that it also has an impact on the life of the individual providing the aid.
They once did an intubation on my Dad in the back of an ambulance to get him to hospital. He died on table in ER but they brought him back as he had no formal DNR in place. He lived on respirator for a week, but he was gone. We finally had to turn it off when all tests concluded that he would never recover. But it gave time for all his family to come and say their good byes to him. It wasn’t miraculous like the gentleman in your story, but it was a mercy that God showed to us in being able to say our good byes before it was over.
I also enjoyed reading your honest account of your journey to the place where Jesus met you and lifted your burden. It always makes me smile when someone tells that story!! I had to laugh when you told about Joel and his Mountain Dew. lol. I’m sure it will help many find themselves in your story, and show them they’re not alone in their struggle. I’m trying to decide who to give mine to next.“
This morning I found a follow up email:
“Another thing I didn’t mention, but now think I should, and it actually made me cry a little, was when you told what the Chaplain said to the girl who’s Mother had shot herself. “That if she’d known the date, the time and place, she would have tried to move mountains to stop it.” It really touched me today, and I’ll tell you why…My precious and beautiful boy, Michael has been gone for 10 years. He was 26 years old. He texted me on a Wednesday night asking me to pray for him, that all he wanted to do was get his life right with God and we would be together on the weekend to talk as it was Mother’s Day. I agreed as I had been running back and forth from work to rehab for my Dad who just lost his leg and Mike worked shift work. That Friday evening, less than 2 days later, after arriving home from work at 7 PM, I received a call from my daughter Karen telling me that my daughter Ashley, who shared a place with Mike, had found him dead on his bedroom floor, he had been dead for about 10 hours. The coroners report said drug intoxication. I had absolutely no idea he was even struggling with substances.
Instead of meeting him for dinner, I spent Mother’s Day laying in his bed, at his apartment, in a broken sobbing heap, trying desperately to breathe in the last scent of him still lingering in his pillow. I know that he knew the Lord, and that helped me to keep breathing, but that’s about all. I kept saying if only this or only that and hating myself for still being alive. Hating myself for helping my Dad while my son was having the greatest struggle of his life. It was the worst time I ever faced, and I’d faced some hard times already. I can’t tell you how much I loved that beautiful boy. He was a musician and a writer and had the biggest, kindest heart, He had understanding for everyone but himself, he didn’t have an enemy anywhere. But I had 3 daughters who were still alive and hurting just as much, so I took all the strength God would give me and dragged on.
It’s been 10 years, but every year at Mother’s Day that old survivor guilt rises up and tears me down a little. Today, as I read those lines in your book, God comforted me with those words once again, assuring me that He knows if I had known, I would have tried to moved mountains…and that He did know, that He CAN move mountains, and Michael was in Heaven with Him until I meet him there again one day.”