It seems a little off to me that when collectable items are advertised for sale on TV they are sold with a certificate of authenticity. A commemorative coin, a statue or figurine, or a train set is shown to have more value because of its certificate declaring it authentic. Yet, when we interact with people, we ourselves lack the consistency with being authentic.
There are people who use the clichés of the day, the latest expressions, to impress people. There are others who will tell somebody how great they are in one breath and seek ways to destroy them in the next breath. There are people who try so hard to keep up with the latest trends for acceptance, whether in fashion or the latest thing on TikTok. They surround themselves with likeminded individuals who support the mask they wear to portray the person they want to be today. “Fake it ’til you make it” is a lie.
One of the hardest things for me in the past 4 years was to get away from putting on the front that everything is okay. It was a gut check to get into counseling. I would tell people around me that everything was fine when it wasn’t. I refused help that was offered. At the same time I wrote this book with the intention of reaching an audience of people who were struggling with similar situations that I was in an effort to offer help. I was so excited, humbled, and encouraged to read all of the feedback from readers, both reviews and emails. The life we have in front of us has a way of throwing us curveballs. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring; but they carry themselves as if they are bulletproof.
When Jesus was questioned by the Pharisees at the dinner party why he would spend time with disenfranchised sinners, his response was perfect (of course). “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick” (New International Version, 2011, Luke 5:31). These people had nothing to offer him. They didn’t need to put on a mask because they were seen plain. And yet the Savior of the world invested in them. “Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord” (New International Version, 2011, James 5:14). I know that not everybody is interested in going to church, but I do pray that they eventually find their way to one that speaks to them.
The thing is, if we have something weighing on us and we ask for help from the right places, the outcome is far better than if we just vent to any listening ear. An old saying goes “a listening ear is a running mouth.” It’s not helpful to air out your dirty laundry to just anybody. But when we sit down with another Gospel-loving believer and discuss the things that are holding us back or weighing us down, life is easier. The advice we receive is sound biblical wisdom. The resources we can connect with are abundant. And the support we receive is real, authentic.
I have been working on my authenticity among other things. I have found that it is much less of a burden to be open and honest about things. It is definitely important to be amicable and to protect people’s feelings, but there is a way to accomplish both. In my job, at any given time, I can find a handful of reasons to chastise somebody for something that they are or are not doing. Jesus has shown me so much grace and mercy in my life that I don’t have the heart to be that person. I find moments like these opportunities to teach, to build up the other person, and to shed some encouragement.
Where I struggle in this area is at home. I find that I am much more critical of my family than anybody else. And I’ve often wondered why it is that we bite the people we love the hardest. For me, I think that my family is a reflection of my leadership. If I am leading them in the right direction, the problems I face wouldn’t exist. To reflect deeper, I am an absent father. In a given week, I go 3 days without seeing my kids, a point they made recently when I told them that I recertified my medical license. When I work my overnight shifts, I might see them Wednesday morning to put them on the school bus; but I leave before they get home and arrive back home after they are already in school. Then I leave again before they get off the bus and arrive home again when they are at school. I won’t see them until later in the day on Friday when they get off the school bus. All they want from me is my time; and yet I spend so much of that time trying to teach them to grow up well. They are so young, so it can be frustrating to teach them about something that they aren’t listening to because they are focused on something more interesting.
I began a camping trip through my church which has evolved quickly over the past year and a half. Men from our church meet up on a Thursday morning and go of into the woods until Saturday to hike trails or take canoe trips. In the evenings we sit around the campfire and openly discuss things that are on our hearts to share (sidenote: Reese’s peanut butter cup s’mores are life-changing). It’s a lot of give and take. I can come to them from a place of frustration, feeling like a failure, and in turn I receive solid advice from somebody who has gone through a similar experience. This same sharing occurs for each of us on the trip. Whatever weighs somebody down is fair game for discussion. Nobody is showing up wearing a mask, except maybe a couple raccoons.
The point is, life is hard enough on its own without trying so hard to be something you aren’t. God created you to be you. He has a purpose for the you that you are. Show yourself, show your scars, tell your real story. Let people see you for you and share in your growth. The greatest thing Jesus ever gave was his time to somebody who needed it. Own your story. The path you’ve walked doesn’t have to be the path you maintain. The decisions you make today do not necessarily reflect the person you want to be tomorrow. But when you show yourself to the right people, and you declare your own authenticity, I promise tomorrow will be brighter than you could ever imagine.
In the words of Christian singer Matthew West, “There’s no failure, no fall, there’s no sin [God doesn’t] already know; so let the truth be told” (Matthew West, 2020, “Truth Be Told”). Show off your own certificate of authenticity. It is so much harder to be consistently fake, especially when what you really need is help. I am not about to look down on somebody except to extend my hand and lift them up. Let’s get real.
References:
New International Version. 2011. Zondervan
West, M. (2020). Truth Be Told [Song]. On Brand New Deluxe Edition. Story
House Music; Provident Label Group LLC.
Christopher Turnbull 